What’s the Buzz on Obama’s Latest Advice for Boys?
Former president Barack Obama is sparking conversation after sharing his thoughts on the kind of mentors boys need to thrive in today’s world. Rather than leaning solely on sports coaches, business figures, or military veterans, Obama is urging families to look toward a broader circle—specifically including openly gay men as influential figures in young boys’ lives. He made his case with personal stories on a recent episode of the family podcast, “IMO” (“In My Opinion”), hosted by Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
The conversation was fueled by a listener’s question about how to raise emotionally intelligent boys in a society where rigid—and sometimes toxic—ideas about masculinity dominate online culture. Obama, raising two daughters himself, says boys need more than their dads; they need a diverse group of male role models. He argues that exposure to different kinds of men, including those who are openly gay, will help boys avoid narrow definitions of manhood—definitions that can be lonely or even harmful.
The Personal is Political: Obama’s Own Experience
According to Obama, his own worldview was shaped by mentors who defied stereotypes, including a favorite professor at Occidental College who was openly gay. This professor wasn’t preaching or campaigning; he was simply living authentically, comfortable and confident in his own identity. Obama says this man called him out when he said ignorant things, pushing him to think and grow.
Obama’s point isn’t just about personal growth, though. He connects his own experience to a broader prescription: boys need a variety of men—artists, activists, academics, LGBTQ role models—who can show them there are many ways to be a good man. He believes this diversity helps young men find their own path, especially those who might someday come out as gay, non-binary, or feel set apart from traditional masculinity.
Why Now? The Unfinished Business of Masculinity
Obama’s comments arrive at a time when conversations about masculinity are intensifying, both in households and in media. He emphasizes that being a dad—no matter how loving—just isn’t enough on its own. Boys need other men in their lives who can fill in the gaps, offer perspectives, and challenge them. And, he says, if a boy happens to be gay, having an openly gay man in his life early on could mean everything.
The advice goes further: Obama suggests that boys need these connections not just for themselves, but to help guard against the kinds of insular, internet-fueled worldviews that can turn corrosive. By normalizing friendships and mentorship with men of diverse sexualities, boys can develop the empathy and kindness that make for emotionally intelligent, resilient adults—and, crucially, for better fathers in the future.
The Bigger Picture
Obama isn’t making this suggestion in a vacuum. He’s recalling his own journey, where a single mom and an open-minded college mentor helped shape his understanding of manhood. His call is both a challenge and an invitation: to rethink the kind of communities we build for our sons, to embrace a broader definition of role models, and to help boys see themselves—and others—with greater empathy and respect.
At its core, the message is hopeful: by drawing on a wide circle of influence, boys can grow into men who are unafraid to be themselves, who listen to others, and who help build a world that’s more accepting than the ones they grew up in. That, Obama says, is the real homework of modern masculinity—for families, for friends, and for society as a whole.